How to Live in An Enchanted World

I live in an enchanted world.  The secret can be summarized in one word:  Marci.   That is the name of the woman I loved and married, in 2004.   I cannot wait to get up, every morning,  at the prospect that I get to spend another day with her.  For she creates an enchanted world all around her.

Marci grew up in another country, and another culture.  She is exquisitely different from any one I have ever met in my life.  I ponder every day what makes her so delightful to live with.   So let me describe her character to you, but I won't say it's about her.  I'll say it's about us, or what we could be, since I beieve these are things she had to learn, and therefore these are things that we can learn, if we want to live a more enchanted life:

1. Prize Innocence.  We seem too often to prize worldliness, the person who has seen it all, done it all, and drained life of its wonder.  In an enchanted world, you prize innocence:  the people who have no cynicism, but believe the best of every person they meet.   Remember, when Jesus was asked who was the greatest in his kingdom,  he set a little child before them.   Keeping the little child in you alive is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Believe, as children do, in an invisible world around us.   Filled not with dreadful dark and terrible things as the popular books and movies of our time would have it, but with invisible creatures of Virtue and Beauty, as the best of faith would have it.

2. Treat every day as the first day. Even with the partner you have lived with for ten thousand days and nights, treat each new day with them as though it were the first time you've ever seen them.  That means, tell them each day what you delight in, about them.  Never grow tired of saying "please" and "thank you" each time they do an act of kindness that makes your life better, on down to simple tasks like cooking and making the bed.  Hold them, touch them, hug them, and laugh with them each day, as a child would. You know the respect with which you treated them when the relationship was new; treat them with the same respect, on the ten thousandth day.  And expect the same in return.

3. Always be curious about the people you love or treasure. A scientist is walking by the seashore. Suddenly she sees a creature she has never seen before, in her life.  She decides she will not capture it, but simply spend some weeks studying it, to see just what it does:  how it survives, how it spends the day, what it eats, what its relationship is with other creatures, where it goes at night, how long it sleeps, etc.   In an enchanted world, you must approach each person,  and most particularly your partner, with this same curiosity. Day by day, you observe them, not judge them.   You try to find out the laws that govern their being, and their life.  Example: ¥ou are married to a writer.  The writer seems to take two weeks each time they need to write a piece, before they actually start writing. You note this, not try to change it.  You do not say to yourself,  "Oh, she's got writer's block, and I've got to get her over that."  You simply observe: "Oh, she takes two weeks before she gets going."  This observation never ends.  You are living with a creature you do not know. Do not lull yourself into thinking you do. This creature is constantly evolving, changing. You want to  know more about the laws that govern your partner's being this year.  Always, in an enchanted world, it's "Oh, this is who they are,"  not "Oh, I've got to change them."  But there is a paradox here:  often, by just studying who they are, you will help them change and grow without a word from you.

4. Go through Life determining to be fun to live with. You know, we have so many goals when we are in a long-term relationship, marriage or whatever:  to be forgiving, to be gracious, to be ioving, and kind.  We often forget the most essential goal, the one that creates an enchanted world:  that you be fun to live with.  Just that.  Nothing more.  It's not that hard. If you're puzzled, and you think it is hard,  recall someone you know who is loads of fun to be with.  Don't just try to fake being like them, but make a list of what makes them fun. That will give you something to work on.  Here are my hunches:  lots of laughter, showing an interest in you, immense playfulness that is also kind, having an optimism about people and things,  not brooding about things, looking forward rather than backward,  able to keep people entertained, and the creme de la creme, able to make occasional funny comments about things.  That you can cultivate in yourself.  But most of all the key is simply that you want to be fun, to live with.

5. Prize Beauty. An enchanted world is a beautiful world, above all.  To live in one,  put as much beauty into your daily life, as you can.  It's up to you to say what that means.  For some it is flowers.  For some it is music. For some it is nature.  For some it is art.  For some it is decoration of the place they live.  For some it is the way they dress, and the jewelry they wear.  For some, it is all of these things.  In an enchanted world, however, it is inner beauty radiating from the face and soul, that is the greatest beauty of all.

6. Lastly, an enchanted world is a place of endless gratitude. Nothing is taken for granted. Everything is offered and accepted only with gratitude.  Endlessly.  To and from your partner.  To and from your family.  To and from your friends. Strangers.  Everyone, including above all the one who created us.  In a world where it is considered the height of intelligence to criticize everything, it is enchanting to be thanked often.  It is enchanting to give thanks often.   Why settle for a dreary complaining existence when you could have an enchanted one?

Well, there it is: a description of Marci.  A description of you. A description of an enchanted life, where you just can't wait to get up each morning.

I wish each of you a more enchanted life.  Even if it's not named "Marci."

  

Comments

[Damona]

You sound so happy and contented & even in a little awe. This, as much as stopping your milk addiction,has helped lower your BP,I'll bet. God Bless Marci!!

[PghPioneers]

Dick,

You're right on the mark with your life philosophies and your way of life. You should build on your name recognition to write a book that helps people discover how to interact with the world in a way that brings them happiness. Coming from THE expert on jobs, it would really help people recognize the need to balance their life.

Ed Breaux
Pittsburgh Pioneers
http://www.pghpioneers.com
http://www.edbreaux.com

[College Research Papers]

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